Do you know what one of the most common reasons a man seeks out a “paid professional” is? To live out his fantasies without feeling embarrassed or ashamed.
Why should he have to do this when he has a perfectly loving and willing wife at home, right? Unless you aren’t willing. Or perhaps you are, but he does not get that impression from you saying “Ew, NEVER” when he brings up a sexual act you haven’t tried before.
I do draw lines though of course. Bringing another person into our sexual or non-sexual relationship is a huge no-no for me, but aside from that I’m pretty open to adding new activities into our Adventure Book as time goes on.
One thing to be careful of is to not try too much too soon. You have your whole life together to experiment so don’t try it all in one year or else there will be nowhere to go from there.
The key is to not judge him for whatever fantasies he may have. Some things are simple like maybe he just wants you to wear glasses or sexy lingerie to mix things up. Some things might push you past your comfort zone, but he is coming to YOU with this so go along with it and experience it together.
My tip to you is as long as it is not physically painful, put your all into it until the end and afterwards, have a quick huddle on whether it worked for you.
For Example: We were engaging in sexual intercourse the other day and he brought something new to the table (well… the bed). I’ll perhaps get into details on that in a later blog post, but let’s just say it was incredibly weird and unexpected and normally I would say “Ew, NEVER“. But surprisingly it was the hottest thing to ever happen to me and I daydreamed about it for the entire week. After we had this experience together, we hopped into the shower and talked about it. I asked him where he came up with that and he told me it was in a porno he watched once and he just decided to go with it. We both decided it wasn’t something that was going to happen all the time, but perhaps on a monthly basis.
Don’t get me wrong, usually afterwards it’s the usual “How was that?” and “Good!”, but sometimes certain things need more discussion to distinguish if whatever happened is something you want to happen again or something that needs to stop immediately.
As most relationship experts will say: Communication is Key.
We actually have a mental list of different sexual acts and how often we want them to happen. Things like using Ice Cubes are just a couple times a year whereas oral is weekly at least (unless you are sick like I am this week in which case you just wait it out and work on the mental aspects of your relationship rather than the physical).
And this, as everything, goes both ways. If you just finished reading 50 Shades of Grey and want to try something out in bed, you should be comfortable going to your husband for experimentation purposes without fear of judgement. You are married!
So in summary: Love your husband in sickness and in health, for weirder or for normal, until he suggests a threesome do you part.