The best part about being in a relationship in 2015 is that you have the ability to instantly communicate with your partner when you are not physically together. Part of being a Badass Wifey is to let him know that even while apart, you’re thinking about him. Men like ego boosts. Fuck, so do women. Who doesn’t want to get a text saying “I can’t get you off my mind” or “If the distance weren’t between us, I’d be jumping your bones right now”.
That escalated pretty quickly, right? Men are often driven by sex. It might not be a fact, but it is definitely a tried and true theory. A suggestive photo or flirty message can go a long way. It’s like he gets to take a trip back to when it felt naughty or exciting to interact in such a manner. A pleasant vacation from the perhaps typical no-makeup, “take off my sweatpants and sensible panties” encounters you may be having at home and much more attention grabbing than a redundant “I love you” or “I miss you“. Men want to experience how much you love and miss them, not read it in a 3-word phrase that they are most likely also getting from their mother.
A convenient perk about the distance flirting is that you don’t even have to put in much effort (physically). You don’t actually have to put his dick in your mouth, you just have to say “If you were here, I’d totes put your dick in my mouth.” Though if your man is a more proper guy it might sound more like “Imagine my lips tight around the head of your member slowly working their way to the shaft…” so on and so forth. Just add a picture of you pulling on your lower lip and he’ll be counting the minutes until he can see you again.
Speaking of pictures, this is another convenience of distance flirting. You can experiment with angles and filters and poses without him seeing any of the flukes. I take at least 5 pictures of my ass before pressing send. My ass looks fantastic at the angles I take the pictures at. No nasty cellulite that’s for sure. And if it is noticeable, I change the angle or the lighting or bend my leg differently to make it magically disappear. I am a 32B and can angle the camera and squeeze my arms outside of the frame to make them look like a DD cleavage. In person, your man will quickly find out that this isn’t true (he should already know this), but for the time being he will be so visually stimulated that he won’t give a fuck. You can wear sweatpants or even sit on the toilet and take boob pictures if you so please and he won’t know the difference because all he’s gonna see is an amazing rack and everything else will be out of frame. A personal favorite of mine is to take a selfie with a mirror in the background so that the photo shows your breasts while also showcasing your booty in the mirror. Get the whole enchilada in one picture.
Of course when he gets home it’d only be Badass to actually follow through with these fantasies you put into his head. Then he might never want to leave again!
Please see below for examples of things to say if you’re new at this:
“My pussy is wet with anticipation“
“I want you to gently glide your fingers over my clit and give it a couple of flicks until it swells up. With just one finger press down on the hardened clit and rub circles around and around slowly and then move the skin up and down and around. As my pussy starts to get wet and pulse, replace your finger with your tongue and trace circles and then strokes. Over and over again. Put your finger into my pussy slowly as you continue to lick my clit. Insert another finger and increase speed as you take your mouth away and ease into a full on finger bang with your remaining fingers/knuckles brush against my clit each time you’re knuckle deep in my pussy. My body will pulsate as I am taken by full ecstasy and pleasure.“
“I want to get on my knees and take your cock into my mouth slowly and gently with amateur porn star like abilities. I’ll lick it from shaft to tip until it’s nice and wet with my saliva and then take it as far as I can without gagging. I’ll pull back and continue my fun game and you’ll thrust forward and lightly push on the back of my head trying to get deeper, but I grab your hand and put one of my hands around your shaft to prevent myself from choking. Once you’ve let me have my fun, you’ll push my hand away as you grab the back of my head and push yourself to the back of my throat and then pull all the way out letting me think I can take a breather but then shove it right back where it was, take it out, and repeat the trick until I think all hope is lost and I’m bound to this endless dick sucking for the rest of eternity. Only then will you stay pulled out and take me by the throat and say ‘are you enjoying your face fuck?’ and I’ll nod as my voice is temporarily stunted from being deep-throated. You’ll say ‘well you’re in luck, because there’s more’. You’ll stand up and position me against a wall so there’s nowhere to pull back and thrust hard and fast into my mouth. I’ll start to gag on your hard dick with potential regrets to ever unzipping your shorts, but you don’t stop. It feels so good. I want you to fuck my face until tears are streaming from my eyes. I want to feel your hand on the back of my head forcing yourself deeper until your throbbing cock finally releases its long awaited load down my throat. I then lay down and rest for 3 minutes as you go fetch me water.“
“I want you to bend me over the dresser and take me from behind“
“I can’t wait to grind on your lap until I can feel your hard-on against my pussy begging to enter.“
If you are a little more humorous and less hardcore I also find things like “I can’t wait to do the nasty with you” or “When you get home, we should horizontal tango” or send a picture of a screw in your hand and say…
WARNING: You will probably receive dick pics. Men don’t have a lot of things to show off like women do. Just pretend it’s the greatest thing you’ve ever seen. When you’re sexting the man you love, it probably is the greatest thing you’ve ever seen. The point is your man is taking a risqué picture and sending it to YOU, his wife who he knows already knows every inch of it, but is clearly interested enough in you that he is reminding you that it’s there. So go along with it and use it as material to take things to the next level and send him videos of you touching yourself.